5 Lies That Will Destroy Your Marriage by Pastor Joshua Irmler

Lie #1: My happiness is the most important thing about marriage.

While it is true that a good marriage does produce joy, this is simply one of the ramifications of a healthy marriage and not the primary reason for being married itself. What if God designed the institution primarily as a social mechanism for your ongoing character development and not your own personal gratification? Being married is more about what you become than how happy it makes you.

Lie #2: Marriage creates so many problems in my life.

It is important to understand that marriage does not actually create problems as much as it simply reveals the problems that already existed in two flawed individuals. Being married has a way of exposing the deeper character issues that exist in our life and in the life of our spouse. When we allow God to fix the issues that being married exposes, we are able to grow and develop as individuals. This is how marriage becomes a great tool in the hand of God or develop us into better people.

Lie #3: I need a new spouse to be happy.

More than you need a new spouse, what you really need is a new marriage. And you can get a new relationship with the same spouse. Since God created the institution of marriage, He knows best how to make it work effectively. When we commit to God’s principles for healthy relationships, He can take your current spouse and give you a new relationship.

Lie #4: My spouse and I are not compatible; therefore, our marriage won’t work.

The Bible teaches that because of our sinful nature all human beings are fundamentally incompatible and therefore any other long term relational companionship will bring the worst in those individuals. The goal then is not to go on some futile quest to find someone with whom you are compatible, but rather to apply the truths of what God says about how to deal with the incompatibilities that will inevitably arise in every relationship.

Lie #5: Breaking my wedding vows won’t impact me or my children.

Wedding vows are not simply a decision of present love but also a mutually binding promise of future love. When divorce enters a family, there are always consequences. God, however, can take the broken pieces of our lives and create something beautiful and new with them.

BONUS LIE (is there such a thing?)

Lie #6: There’s no hope for my marriage-it can’t be fixed.

In the midst of an emotionally draining relationship it can feel as if there is no hope and that nothing will ever get better. But God can still work miracles even in difficult relationships. So stop fighting in your marriage and start fighting for it.


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Josh Irmler

Author Josh Irmler

Lead Pastor of FresnoChurch.com.

More posts by Josh Irmler

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